I Only Know One Road, the High One.

I Only Know One Road, the High One. Man, If Only I Could Say That's True. There’s a popular leadership archetype on LinkedIn, and inside many organizations. The kind of leader you mostly hear about through whispered stories in hallways, beneath framed mission statements, and just outside boardroom walls. The person who always takes the high road. An empathetic, pragmatic leader who never gets frustrated, never sends the email they shouldn’t send, never mutters under their breath after a meeting, and NEVER fantasizes about replying-all with, “Per my last 17 emails…”

Apparently, these unicorn leaders are out there. Well… I am not one of them.

The Myth of the High Road

We often celebrate leadership as though it is a permanent state of enlightenment. In fact, we’re groomed through performance reviews and “coaching” conversations to believe we should be the kind of leaders who remain calm during every conflict, respond to every questionable decision with curiosity and grace, and accept feedback without ever taking it personally. The problem is that this version of leadership leaves very little room for being human. It suggests that maturity means never reacting, professionalism means never being affected, and emotional intelligence means quietly absorbing every frustrating moment with a perfectly neutral face. In theory, I love these people. In practice, I'm not convinced they exist. At least, I've never met one in the mirror.

My Actual Leadership Journey

My leadership journey has looked more like this: • Consider taking the high road. • Briefly visit the low road. • Set up a vacation home on the medium road. • Spend 24 hours replaying the conversation. • Finally find my way back to the high road.

Eventually.

Most leadership is not about instinctively doing the right thing every time. It is about noticing your first reaction, questioning it, and deciding whether it deserves the microphone. Because let’s be honest, our first instinct is not always our best leadership advisor. Sometimes it is tired. Sometimes it is defensive. Sometimes it is drafting an email that should never survive the notes app. The real work is not pretending those reactions do not exist. The real work is catching yourself before they become your response. And honestly, that is not just leadership. It is marriage. It is parenting. It is friendship. It is life in general!

What the Leadership Books Leave Out

The books tell us:

• Be resilient.

• Be empathetic.

• Assume positive intent.

• Stay above the drama.

All good advice.

But what they do not always tell us is that sometimes you have to actively suppress the urge to become the drama. Sometimes the growth moment is not the inspirational quote. It is closing your laptop. Taking a walk. Deleting the paragraph that felt really satisfying to write. And choosing the response that serves the outcome, not just the emotion. That is the real leadership workout. Not strategy. Not vision. Self-control.

The High Road Isn't a Destination

The older I get, the less impressed I am by people who claim they always take the high road. I'm more impressed by people who admit they don't. The leader who says: "I was frustrated." "I took that personally." "My first reaction wasn't my best reaction." "I had to think about that before responding." That's someone I trust. Because leadership is not about emotional perfection. It is about emotional accountability. The final lesson for me is that I don't only know one road, I know several. ⬆️ The high road. ↘️ The low road. ➡️The scenic route. The road fueled entirely by caffeine and mild irritation. Leadership isn't about never being tempted by the wrong road. It's about recognizing when you've wandered off course, owning it, and finding your way back. Preferably before hitting Send.